For I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand, and says to you: 

Do not fear, I will help you.  Isaiah 41:13

Over and over as a Mom I find myself reaching out for my child's hand.  Usually it's the times when the kids are trying something new, like going to school, or trying to make a new friend.  They hang back, they get quiet, they hesitate, and because I'm Mom, I notice they are having a hard time.  I bend down, hold out my hand and say, "It's OK, I'll help help you"!  Because they know I love them and they trust me, they put their little hand in my big one, and together we face the giant for the day.  There is something comforting about that thought: that the God who created the universe, is also the same God, who reaches down, holds out his big hand and says: "Don't fear, I will help you." 

So today I woke up and slipped my little hand into His big one and together we faced the giant of what Brian's treatment would look like.

The thing I continually forget, is that God is full of surprises.  We met with Brian's oncologist this afternoon and left with a mixture of relief and confusion.  The good news is that Brian will not be starting chemo anytime soon.  The bad news is, the medical community doesn't really know how to explain what Brian has, which makes treating it a little tricky.

She used a lot more technical terms to explain all of this to us, but I am not a doctor and my brain has partly fallen out with this pregnancy, so I will do my best to explain what I can.  The pathology from Brian's lymph nodes shows Hodgkins Lymphoma.  However, Hodgkins is typically a very aggressive disease which they have to treat very aggressively with chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant.  If the treatment is successful, they consider someone "cured".  There are however a very small percentage of people who go through the treatment and then later relapse.  

Oh joy! You would laugh along with us at this fact, if you knew how many times we have been told this over the years.  I don't know if I can count the times we have heard from doctors: "We don't see that happen very often!"

 Brian has a specific type of Hodgkins that isn't acting like typical lymphoma, it is operating in his body much more like a chronic blood cancer.  For now, they are going to try to treat it as such.  They have an antibody drug called Rituxan that targets a specific molecule on cells affected by lymphoma.  He will go to the oncologist for a 6 hour infusion of Rituxan once a week for the next 4 weeks, then once a month for the next 2 years.  They will watch him closely and if the lymphoma starts to become resistant to the antibody, or starts acting aggressivly, then they will treat it with chemotherapy and another transplant.  

So ... first relief and a HUGE thank you to all of you who are praying!  God heard our prayers and has for the short-term provided a way through this. The antibody drug has few major side effects, and other than the day out of work for the infusion, it won't disrupt life all that much.  Which means all my stress about how we were going to deal with having a new baby and Brian being sick from chemotherapy was totally unnecessary.  For now, life will continue to operate around here, with the minor intrusion of added visits to the oncologist and eventually the welcome intrusion of a new little life into our midst.

Long term, we are still trying to process what this means.  The type of Hodgkins he has, for now seems like it will effect our lives like a chronic illness.  They will do their best to keep it suppressed with the drugs they have available for as many years as they can, and hope that the research being done now will eventually catch up with us.

For now, we will take a huge breath & thank God for His perfect provision.  We will continue to pray in faith that the cord blood from Micah will match Brian, so if he eventually needs a transplant, he will have a perfect match waiting for him. We will slip our little hands into the big hand of our Father and trust the same promise we have each time we have faced a time like this in our short marriage:

That He has a plan for us, a plan to prosper us and not harm us, a plan to give us hope and a future!

Jeremiah 29:11